Obedience struggles

I read a post today by bino, it was posted a few days ago and I was really blessed by it. The topic of it was obedience, something which I have had a great deal of problems with. I was by the most part raised in the Assembly of God church and taught that obedience was doing the will of God as defined by the 10 commandments, Gods moral law. I know that in being a child of God I have the desire to not sin, but it's a very hard struggle and in all honesty I have a hard time believing that I will ever come close to winning that struggle. I mean, I hate it when I sin, it makes me feel sick when I do, its just that there are so blasted many sins, seems like I can't turn around and smile without realizing I have done or thought something that was wrong. Good Grief! It wouldn't bother me so much I suppose if all the thoughts about losing my salvation wouldn't get in the way, many well meaning teachers have told me that salvation was a road traveled, and if a "saved person" strays off of the road they are ok as long as the do not go a so far off of it that they can no longer see the road (I know, I know how it sounds lol). I have come to understand the grace message enough to know better than that, but I guess it just hasn't fully superceded the old teachings yet (which is why bino's post and many of the comments there, were so spiritually thirst quenching to me). I remember a sermon one day that was very much concentrated on the sermon on the mount pointing out all of the ways in which we are to act as Christians and how easy it is to do the wrong thing. It was suggested that we know the bible so well that we should be like the priests that have the little scripture tied to their foreheads as a constant reminder. I actually memorized the sermon on the mount after that, sure that if I had it always there I wouldn't do the things that it says not to do and do the things it says to do. The result was a slow and arduous fall into failure and more sin. I now understand what Paul and so many of the brothers and sister have been saying out there, that more concentration on obeying the law trying not to sin actually brings about and gives life to sin. A friend at work told me about a restaurant that she went to and it really brought home the understanding of the concept of "doing what I am told not to do". In this restaurants ladies room, there is a large painting of a Scottish man wearing a kilt, the kilt however was not a painting but a real kilt. There is a sign next to it saying "Do Not Look Under This Kilt!" Come on, what are you gonna do? LOL. Problem is when you raise the kilt up it sets off a bell in the dinning room and every one out there knows that you peeked. I can imagine the lady coming out of the restroom after looking and hearing a bell go off outside thinking, "Oh Man, I have to go out there and really act like I didn't do this or look like a real fool!" At least that's what I would think anyway, and that is how I always thought when I did or thought something wrong, my look like a good Christian switch would come on. Anyway, I know I went on a bit and did not mean to go that far, I guess I'm just still struggling a bit with not being as perfect as I feel like I should be, I am only just starting to be able to read the bible again without feeling like I was going to hell if I die tomorrow, so my scripture knowledge is not really up to par as you can tell from the lack of scripture verse reference, which is fairly heavy weight in itself on my heart. I am glad to have a place to go and read the hearts and the love that so many of the brothers and sisters here pour out, it is healing salve to a wounded soul, not only to mine but many others as well.